What if I told you that the guilt you feel about wanting more as a mother isn’t protecting your family – it’s actually holding them back?
As moms, we’re conditioned to believe that good mothers sacrifice everything for their families. We’re taught that our dreams should take a backseat, that wanting financial independence or professional fulfillment somehow makes us selfish. But here’s the truth I wish someone had told me years ago: your ambition isn’t a character flaw. It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give your children.
In my recent podcast episode, I dove deep into breaking the stigma around ambitious moms in entrepreneurship. What I discovered through research, personal stories, and real conversations with fellow mompreneurs will surprise you. Your entrepreneurial dreams aren’t taking away from your family – they’re adding immeasurable value to it.
The “Good Mother” Myth That’s Damaging Our Daughters
Let’s start with something that might sting a little. When we hear the word “ambitious” describing a man, we think: driven, successful, admirable. But when that same word describes a mother? Suddenly, there are whispers about priorities and questions about presence.
This double standard isn’t just unfair – it’s damaging to the next generation.
I’ll never forget overhearing a conversation at school pickup where one mom excitedly shared her business idea, only to be told, “Don’t you think you should focus on being present for your kids? They grow up so fast.” I watched the light dim in her eyes as she said, “You’re right. Maybe when they’re older.”
That moment broke my heart because I recognized that voice – the one that tells us our dreams can wait indefinitely. But here’s what we never say to fathers: “Don’t pursue that promotion. Focus on being present for your kids.” We celebrate men who work hard to provide, yet question women who do the exact same thing.
Recent research reveals just how pervasive this stigma is. Studies show that 42% of entrepreneurial mothers feel treated differently by society compared to fathers who are entrepreneurs. Even more shocking? Two-thirds of mompreneurs report feeling judged for pursuing their goals while parenting.
This isn’t just about individual struggles – it’s about the message we’re sending to our daughters about what’s possible for them.
Your Ambition and Motherhood Skills Are Actually Business Superpowers
Here’s what society doesn’t tell you about ambitious moms: motherhood doesn’t make us weaker entrepreneurs – it makes us stronger ones.
Think about the skills you use every single day as a mom. You’re problem-solving when your toddler has a meltdown in the grocery store. You’re multitasking when you’re making dinner, helping with homework, and planning tomorrow’s schedule simultaneously. You’re demonstrating incredible resilience when you’ve been up all night with a sick child but still show up fully for your family the next day.
These aren’t just parenting skills – they’re business superpowers.
The data backs this up beautifully. Research shows that 60% of mompreneurs report improved problem-solving abilities directly because of parenting. Additionally, 51% say their multitasking skills have been enhanced, and 46% report greater resilience when facing challenges.
We’re not less capable because we’re mother – we’re more capable. We’re not weaker – we’re stronger. And it’s time we started believing it.
The Permission Slip You’ve Been Waiting For
Here’s something that might shift everything for you: you’ve been waiting for someone else to give you permission to want what you want. But the only permission slip you need is the one you write for yourself.
Let me tell you about Sarah – not her real name, but a friend of mine. Sarah came to me two years ago with an idea to become a real estate agent. She was passionate, had done her homework, and had a clear vision. But during one of our conversations, she explained why she couldn’t start.
“My youngest is a hand full,” she said. “My husband works long hours. I should be focused on being present for my kids at this stage.”
Sound familiar?
I asked her, “If I told you I wanted to write a book, what would you tell me?”
Without hesitation, Sarah said, “I’d tell you you’re crazy not to pursue it. Your kids would be so proud to have a mom who saw a problem and created a solution. I’d tell you to start small, but start now.”
“So why,” I asked gently, “aren’t you giving yourself the same grace and encouragement you’d give me?”
That question broke something open. Sarah realized she was holding herself to a standard she’d never hold another mother to. Today Sarah’s is now a real estate agent. Her kids? They are thriving and happy. They’re not resentful— they’re proud.
The Ripple Effect of Your Ambition
When I finally embraced my ambition instead of apologizing for it, something beautiful happened: my daughters started embracing theirs too.
Earlier this summer, my seven-year-old came home from playing with friends and announced she wants to start a business and sell bracelets in our neighborhood. Her reason: she wants to save up for a trip to Disney! In her little mind, she has already equated that if you want something in life you have to earn it instead of waiting for someone to hand it to you.
This is the ripple effect of ambitious motherhood. When we model courage, our children learn courage. When we show them it’s okay to want more and work toward meaningful goals, we give them permission to do the same.
The statistics tell an incredible story: 60% of women with children are currently exploring entrepreneurship, driven by desires for flexibility, control, and generational wealth. Two-thirds of mompreneurs cite building a better future for their children as a major motivation.
We’re not just building businesses – we’re building a legacy of possibility.
Practical Strategies for Guilt-Free Ambition
If you’re reading this and feeling that familiar knot of guilt in your stomach, here are four strategies that have helped me and countless other moms embrace ambition without apology:
1. Talk to Yourself Like Your Best Friend
The voice telling you you’re being selfish isn’t your voice – it’s a collection of societal messages you’ve internalized. Start paying attention to your internal dialogue and ask yourself: “Would I say this to my best friend in the same situation?”
2. Reframe Ambition as a Family Value
You’re not taking time away from your family – you’re investing in your family’s future. You’re modeling resilience, creativity, and courage. You’re showing your children what’s possible when you work toward meaningful goals.
3. Set Energy-Protecting Boundaries
This doesn’t mean working 24/7. It means being intentional about how you spend your time and energy. Say no to things that don’t align with your goals so you can say yes to things that do.
4. Find Your Tribe of Ambitious Moms
Surround yourself with people who celebrate your ambition rather than question it. Join communities where wanting more is celebrated, not criticized. The support makes all the difference.
Navigating the Critics (Because They’re Coming)
Here’s the reality: when you start embracing your ambition, some people won’t understand. They’ll have opinions, and some will sting. I remember the first time someone called me “selfish” for starting my business while my daughters were young. For a moment, I questioned everything.
But then my five-year-old said, “Mommy, I want to be a writer like you when I grow up.” I realized the criticism said more about the critic’s limitations than my choices.
Here are responses to common criticisms ambitious moms face:
“Shouldn’t you be focusing on your kids?”
“I am focusing on my kids. I’m showing them what’s possible when you work hard and pursue your dreams.”
“They grow up so fast. You’ll miss it.”
“I’m not missing anything. I’m present for what matters, and I’m also modeling that mothers are multifaceted people with dreams and goals.”
“Must be nice to have all that time.”
“I don’t have more time than anyone else. I’ve just chosen to prioritize building something meaningful to me.”
Remember: when people criticize your ambition, they’re often projecting their own fears and limitations. You don’t have to shrink to make others comfortable.
Your Ambition is a Gift to the World
As we wrap up, I want you to absorb this truth: your ambition isn’t a flaw to hide – it’s a fire to fuel. By pursuing your entrepreneurial dreams unapologetically, you’re not just building a business. You’re building a legacy of courage and possibility for your family.
The challenges are real – 58% of mompreneurs identify balancing work and family as their biggest struggle, and 48% sacrifice sleep to make it work. But the struggle doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. The struggle means you’re doing something brave.
Your children need to see a mother who loves them fiercely AND pursues her goals boldly. They need to know they never have to choose between loving family members and ambitious individuals.
So here’s your assignment: write yourself a permission slip. Right now. Start with “I give myself permission to…” and fill in what you’ve been holding back from. Maybe it’s permission to call yourself a CEO. Maybe it’s permission to dream bigger than feels safe. Whatever it is, write it down and make it real.
Your dreams don’t need anyone else’s approval. Your ambition doesn’t need justification. And your children? They’re watching, learning that mothers can be both nurturing and driven, loving and ambitious, present and pursuing their dreams.
The world is waiting for what you have to create. It’s time to give yourself permission to build it.